Welcome back. Special thanks go to our two guest bloggers Nomsa and Tim, who, for the past two weeks, shared their thoughts and lessons on this journey thus far. Your blog posts touched our hearts as well – you did a brilliant job.
If this is your first visit on our blog, for a bit of the background and the journey so far, we would suggest that you read first blog post, The Meeting, Ndine musikana wangu (I got myself a girl), Dating & Courtship , Meeting the Families , Cultural Hurdles, FAQ & Wedding Preparations, The Wedding Day Part 1 , The Wedding Day Part 2 , The Rest of the Wedding Day Honeymoon & Early Days 1, Honeymoon & Early Days 2 , Our Encounter with COVID-19, I’m Pregnant and Parenting – they don’t come with manuals, Parenting – they don’t come with manuals (cont) and Reflections from the youngest. For introduction of our family and categories of topics to be covered please visit the About Us page.
At the end of the last blog post, we indicated that we were going to discuss about our Empty Nest. We have decided to backtrack a little bit and cover a key part of our journey – how did we end up in the UK?
Since getting married, we had lived in Harare, Chinhoyi and Marondera initiated by our different jobs. However, leaving Zimbabwe to emigrate to the UK was the riskiest, boldest and the most challenging move we have taken as a family. How did we get to the point to make this life changing move?
A question that we faced back in Zimbabwe and also here in the UK is “Why did you move?” Wim and I were not actively looking to move. We were well settled in Marondera and I had a secure job with decent perks. Wim was also in a stable job. My sister had moved to the UK at the turn of the century, but it never crossed our minds that we will be joining them in a few years’ time.
There were some tale-tale signs that things in Zimbabwe were beginning to “turn south” at the time, but we felt it was nothing to initiate any action on our part. Incidentally, a good friend and colleague mentioned of a new Highly Skilled Migrant Programme (HSMP) that had just been launched by the UK government and he had successfully applied. This programme allowed someone to come into the UK without a job offer and allow initial 12 months to look for a job after which someone would apply for a further extension of their stay.
After reading the guidelines about the programme, it looked promising as we met the criteria. We prayed about this, seeking God’s guidance, as we always did with our family and individual decisions. I applied for the HSMP and was successful.
The move was becoming real now. After a couple of months sorting out our matters in Zimbabwe, I bid farewell to family and friends and flew to the UK. Wim and the children remained back home whilst I looked for a job.
I remember upon arriving at Gatwick airport the immigration officer asking the common and normal question “When are you planning to return back home, Sir?”. I hesitated a little bit before responding “I am not thinking of going back yet as I have come to look for a job ” – “Of course” he said after checking my visa again, before wishing me well with my plans.
My sister and brother-in-law warmly welcomed me into their home where they took excellent care of me, not knowing for how long I was going to stay with them. My brother-in-law was like my big brother showing me how things worked in the UK including even how to drive on the motorways. It was nice to spend those days with them and my niece and nephews.
Thank God, within two weeks of my arrival in the UK, I secured a job in Preston – that was purely God’s Providence. During my first week in the UK, I had attended an interview (assessment centre) at National Grid in Reading, for position I had applied for whilst I was still in Zimbabwe. While waiting for the results for that interview, I applied for a job in response to an online advert and was invited for an interview in Preston. My sister and brother-in-law didn’t even know where Preston was and had to look it up. On the train back to London after the interview the employment agency consultant rang to advise me that I had been successful and was offered the job!
Wim was ecstatic when she heard of this news – not sure the children much.
Wim Back in Zimbabwe
When we started thinking of relocating to the UK, we had heard so many stories about the negative influences this would have on children. Nomsa was too young to remain behind, but in our wisdom, we decided to leave Tim at an Adventist boarding school . We were so much unease with this decision, but at the time we felt that it was best for him and his development. I believe God sent two people to us. The first was a mature friend of mine at church. She said “Mai Mpofu, takurai vana venyu muende navo.” (Mrs Mpofu, take your children with you). The second person was Jabu’s elder sister already living in the UK. As soon as she heard that we were considering leaving Tim behind, she was on the case and was having none of that – she easily convinced us that was not the best.
Whilst Jabu was in the UK, I had to quickly sort out Tim’s and Nomsa’s passports and visas. Tim had already started at the boarding school and simple things like getting passport photos became complicated. Thankfully, we had our Muzukuru (niece) who was a teacher at the school and helped with those practical issues.
Lesson 22: Move with your family
Move with your family . We have found that this was the best solution for us. Staying together helped us bond as a family. Now we cannot even imagine what it would have been if we had split the family with Tim remain behind. We would have missed out on the development of our son.
Leaving Zimbabwe was one of the hardest things for me. Both my parents and all my nine siblings and their families were remaining behind. As the date of our departure approached my parents and my siblings all gathered at our house. We had a Spirit-filled prayer session as we bid farewell to each other – there was no dry eye in the room at the end of the session. It was so painful to say goodbye.
Emmigrating was a life changing experience for us – leaving the familiar and venturing into the unknown. Leaving behind family and the whole supporting network and coming to something completely new and untried.
We were also leaving behind our warm and loving church where it felt like we were all related to each other. We were just one big happy family! It was painful to bid farewell to friends at Marondera Central SDA Church and we missed them dearly.
Five months after Jabu left, Tim, Nomsa and myself landed at Gatwick Airport. What a joy it was as we were reunited as a family.
We have shared this story in some detail because we wanted to acknowledge and highlight that coming to the UK was not a result of us strategising and planning. We, as a family, believe that it was God providentially leading us – opening doors and closing others. For example, when the opportunity for the HSMP presented itself we went for it, praying at each stage that God would guide us as He saw fit.
Coming to the UK was a very good move for us and we have seen God’s hand in this. Whilst at the time we were not too sure about what the future held, we were at peace with our decision. The move opened so many opportunities for us and our children who grasped them and are flourishing in their respective careers. We have all grown and continue to grow in our own spiritual journeys.
First Impressions of the UK
We arrived at Preston in the early hours of the morning after driving all the way from Gatwick with Wim and the children. Tim and Nomsa were utterly disappointed by the detached house they moved into when they first arrived from Zimbabwe. The house and the garden were too small compared to our house in Zimbabwe. It was so underwhelming for them. You should have seen their faces when we moved again to a terraced house with a tiny garden, if you call it that at all. They soon got used to their new surroundings, but the requests for a bigger garden continued until they flew the nest.
They arrived in summer, so they got a gradual adjustment for the weather.
We are keenly aware that our experiences may not be the same as others as sometimes things don’t work out as expected. We are also aware that for some moving from Zimbabwe became a matter of sheer survival. Nevertheless, if the reason for moving is vivid enough that will help one endure the journey when the downturns come.
One thing I noticed when I came to the UK was how stressful my job in Zimbabwe was. I was surprised about how well I was now sleeping; when I finished work at the end of the day, that was it until the following morning, unlike being on virtual standby 24/6 (I ensured that the Sabbath (Saturday) was always free). However, we both missed Zimbabwe so much that we tried to maintain contact with friends and family.
Lesson 23: Join a community to help settle
Joining a community helped us settle – for us it was mainly through the church. We found a very warm and friendly church where everyone loves us, and we love everyone. They welcomed and embraced us warmly and we have built fond memories as part of this congregation. We have made great friends. We have now spent more than 16 years at this church – the longest we have spent at any one church. We always thank God for being part of such a church family. Tim and Nomsa were also involved in the various youth activities and plays. We joined the choirs etc.
Outside Preston, we also participated in the Zimbabwean SDA community in the UK, where we continued to meet fellow Zimbabweans, share our stories and encourage each other.
Lesson 24: Allow time for adjustment
Different members of the family will adjust to migration differently. Do your best as a family to support each other. Allow time for adjustment. With time and support, everyone will settle and start to thrive.
Of course there were culture shocks – we hope we will talk about those later! Some of them are funny – as a taster in Zimbabwe in our culture, when you are speaking to someone senior or respectable, you cannot look them in the eye; whereas in the UK if you do not maintain eye contact you are being shifty. In Zimbabwe we tend to address most people on a second name basis, while in the UK it is first name. Nomsa couldn’t believe that the use of a stick by teachers as a dsiciplinary tool was not mandatory – when she realised that, she just thrived in her studies, without any fear. (the last time a stick was ever used on her at school or home was back in Zimbabwe at age 7)
Final Word
As we shared our Great Move story we are reminded of God’s amazing hand moving in our lives. God was and still remains the Greatest Strategist – ensuring that we were at the right place at the right time. This has always given us purpose in our lives – why are we here? We are here in the UK because God has placed us here and there is somewhere we can serve.
We urge you to seriously consider this question. You may want to reflect on it on your own, discuss with your spouse or family, or discuss with your friend. Should you need to reach out to someone, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us (whether you are a Christian or not) and we hope we can help you in your pursuit to find your purpose.
Thank you once again for reading our blog – please share with others and subscribe. Feel free to leave a comment here. Until next week – take care and remain safe.
