“I’m Pregnant”

Happy New Year to you all. We hope you had a good Christmas. We made the best of the situation and had a lovely “virtual” Christmas on Zoom. We had a chat, watched a movie together and a quiz over the days we were expecting Tim and Nomsa to be home. We all liked it and enjoyed ourselves – if life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

If this is your first visit on our blog, for a bit of the background and the journey so far, we would suggest that you read first blog post, The Meeting, Ndine musikana wangu (I got myself a girl), Dating & Courtship , Meeting the Families , Cultural Hurdles, FAQ & Wedding Preparations, The Wedding Day Part 1 , The Wedding Day Part 2 , The Rest of the Wedding Day Honeymoon & Early Days 1, Honeymoon & Early Days 2 and Our Encounter with COVID-19. For introduction of our family and categories of topics to be covered please visit the About Us page.

Back to where we were before our detour two weeks ago …

Jabu and I had discussed about children during our courtship and we had agreed that should God bless us with children, we would like to have three.

As common in Zimbabwe at the time, we didn’t use birth control for our first child – the idea being that you do not want to tamper with your reproductive health before you give birth to your first child.

When I had the first sign that I was pregnant, I shared the news with Jabu and we were both excited but waited for another month before I went for a pregnancy test. It was positive.

We couldn’t hold ourselves with excitement. We shared the exciting news with a couple of our family members, mainly because we needed advice on the obstetrician/gynaecologist.

Whilst we didn’t have medical aid insurance at the time, we resolved to get the best antenatal (pregnancy) care we could afford. The consultant I got was extremely good and took excellent care of me from that time until the safe delivery of our son.

Baby Naming

Jabu and I had decided that we didn’t want to know the sex of our child until it was born. We wanted it to be a completed surprise. We had prepared two sets of names – one for a boy and the other for a girl.

We named our son Timothy Jabulani (TJ).

Jabu expands on the rational around the naming …

We named our son after my Dad. My Dad was the most caring, loving, selfless man I had ever known. After my mother’s death, he raised us, my three sisters and myself, solely as a single parent. He was totally committed to his young family – he provided for us. From his meagre earnings as a domestic worker, he sacrificed everything for us. He loved us; he encouraged us more through his example than through his words as he was a man of very few words. I never heard my Dad complain about his situation or anything – NEVER. He would just keep his head down and do his best when confronted with challenging circumstances. I felt so much honoured when Wim agreed to name our son after my Dad.

You should have seen the scene when the two Timothys met for the first time. The Senior didn’t say much – he held him in his arms and kissed him. Then he wiped away a tear as he spoke to the baby. That was enough for me. My Dad felt honoured.

Wim continues …

More than four years later we were blessed with a baby girl – Nomsa Praise. This time we knew that a baby girl was on her way and I had the honour of naming her. I looked for a Ndebele name which reflected what I wished our daughter would be (Nomsa means – one with grace or kindness). For the second name it showed my praise to the Lord for giving us such a wonderful gift.

My pregnancies were not easy but we thank God for His blessings. Each time I held the baby in my hands, all the challenges previously faced would just dissolve in the joy and gratitude that the baby brought us. Thankfully we retained the same consultant throughout my pregnancies, who continued with his excellent work in monitoring and intervening when necessary.

Lesson 8: Get the best Antenatal (Maternity) Care you can afford.

This is a lesson that we learnt from our own pregnancies as well as those of family and friends. We thank God that He pointed us in the direction of a consultant who took care of me so well during all my pregnancies. We have had painful experiences with pregnancies. Those who can afford, please financially support your family and friends in places like Zimbabwe and other underprivileged countries, to access best antenatal care possible.

A Side Show

During my first pregnancy, Jabu was balancing a lot of things – he was an expecting dad, doing his final year at uni and his studies were going well. He was also working on his final year dissertation and was facing a challenge with his supervisor in scoping the project.

Most importantly he needed a job as soon as he finishes his studies, to help support and provide for our new family which was about to grow. Our small flat would soon be inadequate for the three of us and possibly a maid as my maternity leave comes to an end. The baby would come with its needs.

The post graduate scheme at the Zimbabwe power utility company was advertised and this is what we had been waiting for. This was the same company that Jabu had done his placement in Chinhoyi the previous year and he had liked his experience there. We prayed about it and Jabu quickly applied and awaited invitation for an interview.

To our relief, Jabu was invited for an interview.

Jabu’s Interview in his own words…

I had prepared as much as I could; consulted a couple of friends and colleagues from my Chinhoyi placement.

As I entered the interview room, which was an office, there were two individuals on the panel – a lady and a gentleman. The lady was the HR manager in charge of the post graduate programme and the gentleman was a senior engineering manager with the company.

The interview went swimmingly well as I answered the questions as well as I could – that is until towards the end. In response to a technical question, the engineering manager followed on with another question, which I believed I batted well; another question followed based on my response which I also tackled – but now I was slowly getting out of my depth. He continued asking until I got to the point when I could not respond as I had tied myself in technical knots. (For the technically inquisitive people – the original question had been a simple question on the difference between a circuit breaker and sectionaliser… The question that finally got me was – Is the size of an electric arc dependent on the power factor?)

“Please bring on the next different question” I prayed silently.

The HR lady then intervened and said, “Let’s move on”.

Then the engineering manager said, “I don’t have any further questions”

What? No opportunity to redeem myself?

“Thank you, Mr Mpofu” the lady concluded. “We have got a number of candidates to interview over the next two days. If you would like to know whether you were successful or not, and you do not wish to wait for the official letter, please call me after 2pm in two days’ time”

A cloud hung over me as I made my way out of the office.

When I went to meet with Wim after work, she was excited and wanted to know how the interview had gone. I told her about how everything went until the last questions. She tried to cheer me up, but I was having none of it. When we got home, Wim prayed for me thanking God for the opportunity to attend the interview and humbly leaving everything in God’s hands.

The following two days were the longest and most anxious that I had ever lived. I couldn’t get my mind off the interview. “So far we have cleared all the hurdles” I thought. “Now this one is proving to be a testing one”

I took the walk to public telephone booth at the end of the road. I called and my heart was literally in my mouth as the receptionist transferred my call.

“Good afternoon, I am phoning to find out the outcome of my recent interview” I stammered

“What is your name?”

“Jabulani Mpofu” I responded

“Please hold on..”

These few moments felt like eternity. I could hear the flipping and shuffling of the papers as she checked.

“You were successful”

“Sorry?”

“You passed the interview. Come to my office next week Thursday at 10am as there are some papers you need to sign before the post graduate training starts. As you know the offer will be on condition that you pass your final year at uni”

“Thank You”

I hung the phone up – my heart was racing. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Should I shout? Should I jump? That cloud that was hanging over me disappeared and was replaced the brightest and most beautiful day. I quickly called Wim at work. I tried to avoid calling her at work unless it was absolutely necessary – and today was one such day.

“I got the job!” I exclaimed as soon as she answered the phone.

Lesson 9: God Provides.

This interview was one of the most important ones in my life. In my mind I had reached my wits end and God had come through for me. The result of this interview sent me on the professional trajectory that brought me to where I am today. There are many times and instances I have seen the hand of God work in our lives but for me this is one of the most important ones and it affirmed my faith in God. Indeed God has provided for our family throughout the years.

Our blog for next week is entitled “Parenting – They Don’t Come with Manuals!” We will share some amazing lessons we have learnt and are still learning on our parenting journey.

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