Honeymoon & Early Days 1

Welcome back and thank you for joining us on this journey.

If this is your first visit on our blog, for a bit of the background and the journey so far, we would suggest that you read first blog post, The Meeting, Ndine musikana wangu (I got myself a girl), Dating & Courtship , Meeting the Families , Cultural Hurdles, FAQ & Wedding Preparations, The Wedding Day Part 1 , The Wedding Day Part 2 and The Rest of the Wedding Day For introduction of our family and categories of topics to be covered please visit the About Us page.

In last week’s blog, The Rest of the Wedding Day, we invited people to share their tips on reducing the cost of a wedding. We are happy that we have received some amazing suggestions and we would earnestly recommend that for anyone planning a wedding, you should consult with those who have recently wedded.

We have found them to be very much willing to share their wealth of knowledge and experience. We will summarise the tips received from these couples, our own experience and some research that we have carried out ourselves.

According to a survey of 2,800 couples carried out by Hitched, the average cost of a wedding in 2019 was £31,974. What?!

You may not be able to relate to this figure. The word “average” may skew things a bit and also note that it includes the cost of the honeymoon. We have read of couples who have spent less than £5,000 on their wedding.

The sobering thought is, would you rather borrow and spend a lot on a glamorous wedding and start your new home with a burden of debt OR would you rather have a modest wedding and in the process save enough money for a deposit for your new house.

Now to our top 10 tips. Don’t forget that this is YOUR wedding and we are just providing some tips. It was just intriguing that some tips we used 30 years ago in Zimbabwe are still being used in the 21st century.

Don’t forget that as a couple, wedding preparations are stressful – the earlier you start planning, the better; that way you will not have pressure for time and not make rash decisions which are costly.

Tip 1 – Plan

Agree what you want your wedding to be like. When growing up, you may have had some dreams about your wedding day. Now this is real life – what can you realistically afford within your financial limitations? Agree what are the top three aspects/things that you want to be included and everything else will be negotiable/flexible depending on the costs.

Tip 2 – Wedding Budget

Plan and agree a detailed wedding budget and stick to it. Agree how you are going to fund it. Review and update the budget regularly and make any necessary tweaks as things evolve. The wedding cost is usually split between the couple and their families. We believe that the side of the families who are blessed more can do a little bit heavier lifting. For the couple, the wedding is usually the first main “project” that you will work together on.

Tip 3 – Haggle & Negotiate

Haggle, haggle, haggle; Negotiate, negotiate, negotiate – for everything. Do not accept the first quote on anything. Shop around for everything. Compare quotes. Look out for sales – there are some bargains to be had.

Tip 4 – Wedding Guest List

Agree the number of guests early as it will determine the size of the venue for your wedding. Also agree on whether your wedding will cater for children or not; advise everyone of your stance and stick to it. Invite the near and dear and manage the plus-ones wisely.

The guest list is an area where compromises may be required. You may invite other additional guests for the evening reception, if you are planning one. For ours we didn’t have a guest list as all were invited – this was typical in Zimbabwe at the time.

Tip 5 – Meal

Buffet meal is usually cheaper than sit down wedding breakfast. Providing your own catering may even drastically reduce the overall cost of the wedding meal. Don’t forget to ask dietary requirements in your invitation.

Tip 6 – Do It Yourself (DIY)

DIY as much as you can. Involve family and friends and use their skills where necessary. Accept creative friends’ and family’s offers to help with stuff. Below are some of the areas where offers can be made and accepted; the list is not exhaustive.

Hair and make up – this may be a way skilled friends or family would like to bless you. We suggest that you have a couple of trials with those offering before the day to confirm what you really like on your big day.

MC, DJ – look around your circle for anyone gifted and experienced to be an MC. For entertainment, prepare your own playlist and play it over the venue’s PA system. You may have one cousin/nephew/niece or friend, man the system. At our wedding the MC was our friend, who did not charge for his services. We didn’t need any music playlist as our families and guests sang traditional wedding songs and danced.

Flowers and Décor – From bouquet, centrepieces, lapel pieces, table placements – there could be offers out there. Please check with your local council – some have a floral department, and this is usually cheaper than flower shops. Some couples question the value of party favours – people tend to forget about those as soon as the wedding finishes.

Transport – nicely decorate a friend’s or relatives’s nice car instead of hiring a car. Remember, at our wedding Wim came in an undecorated Mercedes Benz, due to the delays and mix up on the morning – and it worked. She got to church in style!

Photography and Videography – there could be some enthusiastic amateur in your circle of friends or family who could do a good job. To ensure that you have a guaranteed set of goo photos, you may hire a professional photographer for part of the day. Another tip was to ask your guests to upload the photos they take on a website and offer a competition where someone can win “The Best Photo” award!

Check with a local college or Uni or church; they may have a creative audio-visual team who will be willing to take on your wedding as a project. At our wedding, Wim’s best girl’s boyfriend (and now husband) was our official photographer. He freely offered his services and we gadly accepted. We engaged a videographer who attended same church as Wim, and gave a huge discount.

Tip 7 – Dressing

Wedding dress – decide whether you want to buy or hire. It is likely that you will only wear this dress once. You may also buy an end of line dress – it will be brand new but heavily discounted.

Dressing for the bridesmaids/grooms men – avoid exclusive wedding shops and look in the high street shops and even online. Better still, get everyone to buy their own clothes.

Tip 8 – Wedding Cake

Wedding cake – buy supermarket cakes and have someone redecorate/ice them for you. For our wedding the professional cake maker we engaged (who had also prepared our engagement party cake) advised us that to keep the cost down, we purchase the key ingredients; she was just very kind. Other couples suggest using the wedding cake as the dessert and thus reduce the meal cost.

Tip 9 – Technology

Embrace technology – for managing your invitations, RSVP, uploading photos etc. In our days we used to design and purchase invitation cards; then write them; then post them or hand deliver them. We remember the awkward feeling when you are hand delivering to a group of people at church and then you realised that you had missed someone. Don’t forget, our wedding was an open one – we didn’t have a wedding guest list.

Tip 10 – Day of Wedding

Having a wedding on a weekday will massively reduce the costs of almost everything from venue to photography. You may also investigate winter weddings – this will be a challenge with the photos and the rain in the UK. In Zimbabwe, the winter are dry and cold. This is something to consider.

Extras

Another area which has become so important since the pandemic, has been Wedding Insurance. We encourage you to investigate and shop around. Read the small print and ensure that you understand what is covered.

Most of the couples who shared their experiences agree with us that this is just one day – don’t break the bank to cater for this one day. Don’t be bent on showing off – plan to enjoy your special day. Prepare for the real life after the wedding.

Once again thank you very much to all who contributed to these tips.

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Where were we? Honeymoon and Early Days

We took the airport shuttle to the Harare International Airport. By road, Harare to Victoria Falls takes up to 8 hours but it was a mere 45mins by air.

As we had made plans for our marriage, we discussed where we would go for our honeymoon. At the time, it was not common for newly wedded couples to go on a honeymoon. Just as with our engagement party, we didn’t want to miss out on anything that we would look back on and regret later.

We researched for accommodation at this world famous holiday destination. We found some national parks chalets which were situated along the Zambezi River as it made its way to the majestic Victoria Falls. This accommodation fit well with our modest budget.

For both of us, it was our first time to be on an aeroplane. It was full, mainly with tourists. We didn’t have a long time to enjoy the hospitality onboard the plane, as we were shortly landing at Victoria Falls airport.

We were both excited as we alighted from the plane. Our research had shown that there was a shuttle from the airport to the town centre, from where we would get a taxi to our chalet.

As we entered into the small airport arrivals hall, we heard the following message on the intercom “Mr & Mrs Jabulani Mpofu, can you please make your way to the information desk”. The message was repeated. What? Any problem?

Can we please park it here for today and pick it up from here next week. To be continued…

Since tomorrow is our 30^th wedding anniversary (Pearl Anniversary), we thought we would take it easy as you digest the tips on how to cut the cost of a wedding. We solicit your prayers for our marriage on this milestone.

Please share with your friends and family especially those young ones in a relationship or looking to get into one.