The Wedding Day (Part 1)

Tigashire kumuchato! (Welcome to the wedding!)

If this is your first visit on our blog, for a bit of the background and the journey so far, we would suggest that you read first blog post, The Meeting, Ndine musikana wangu (I got myself a girl) and Dating & Courtship , Meeting the Families , Cultural Hurdles and FAQ & Wedding Preparations For introduction of our family and categories of topics to be covered please visit the About Us page.

Here we go…

Saturday, 1^st of December 1990, was a quiet day. Wim and I didn’t worship at the same church – I attended the nearest church in the city centre. In the afternoon, people started arriving in Harare for the big day.

Saturday evening was the final rehearsals for the wedding ceremony programme at Highlands Church.

There was one last cultural hurdle to clear just before the wedding day. While others were at the rehearsals, Jabu’s sisters came “kuzokumbira muroora” (to culturally ask for the bride’s hand in marriage”. There was some dancing and ululating.

Bridegroom

Yes, that is me! Reflecting on this journey I would say thank you Lord for bringing us thus far.

My other mentor and friend whose family had moved to Harare, kindly offered their house to accommodate the groom’s party for the night before the wedding. Five or six of us managed to cram into one bedroom. The whole place was buzzing.

Our host advised us “You guys should get a good night’s sleep and ensure that you have a heavy breakfast tomorrow”.

Good sleep? No chance. After everyone else settled and fell asleep, I just couldn’t sleep. My mind could not settle or relax.

Sunday 2^nd December 1990 dawned.

Heavy breakfast? That was a good idea. From the excitement, I didn’t have a good appetite. However, I forced myself to eat and this was a great move, as my next meal would come some seven hours later.

We quickly dressed up and were ready to go for the wedding ceremony. I quickly checked that I had the wedding rings – both rings. Soon our transport, my aunt’s beige Madza 323, came for me. The bridal party quickly decorated the car and we were off to church. A couple of other cars from friends helped ferry the bridal party.

It was a sunny and warm Sunday morning – a typical December summer’s day. The trees were all green and lush. The Highlands suburbs of Harare were posh and you could tell from the well manicured lawns and flower beds.

As we drove past the church to come back on ourselves, that is when it dawned on me how huge this day was- droves of people were milling around the grounds of the church. Some of them were admiring the beautiful, majestic church building and adjoining hall.

As our car pulled into the grounds of the church, the bus carrying Chinhoyi folks was offloading. All those familiar people and in their best clothes. It was just beautiful.

Next to the bus was my brother-in-law’s 7-ton truck and young people were jumping out from the back. Apparently, when the bus came to pick up people from Chinhoyi, there were a lot more people than could fit in the bus. Plan B was quickly hatched – the adults would get in the bus and the youths and young people would get into the 7-ton truck.

This mode of transport was not out of the ordinary when push comes to shove in Zim – even when going to a wedding!

The other cars with the groom’s bridal party arrived. We didn’t get out of the cars. A few people came to my car and smiled and waved. Others just smiled and looked from a distance. I could see our neighbours from Chinhoyi looking on. “Is this Jabu? Our boy from Gadzema Section, who is now about to wed” I could imagine them asking. And my response? “It is because of the Lord’s mercies”

The leader of the male singing group came over to confirm that they were here and rearing to go.

But where was the bride? We waited patiently for my bride. It was her day – our day; and she could take as long as she wanted. I was not anxious at all.

Bride

I could hardly sleep that Saturday night. When we got home from the rehearsals, Jabu’s sisters were still at our place singing and dancing and ululating “Vimbai aenda, muchimuona, makamutarisa, muchimuona” (Vimbai is going/leaving whilst you watch on). By the time they finished the cultural business it was very late.

Normally, I had my hairdresser who would do a long lasting set on my hair; then I would manage on my own for three to four weeks, before I needed another re-set.

I visited the hair salon on the Wednesday before my wedding only to find out that she was no longer working there. People there referred me to another salon. This was getting risky now. I went and as I feared, the lady didn’t do a good job on my hair. I didn’t have time to waste. I will have sort it out on Sunday morning, I concluded.

Now Sunday was here. We woke up very early and started getting ready. My sisters-in-law and Tete were there to help me dress. Jabu’s sisters were also in attendance according to our culture. The hair, as anticipated, caused me a few problems but that was not going to spoil my day.

As I looked myself in the mirror, I smiled. “I think Jabu will love this” I thought.

Compliments and ululations were coming from all corners of the house as I made my way into the lounge. The bridal party was getting into vehicles in readiness for departure as we were already behind time.

A couple of months before my wedding day, my brother had bought a new car – a white Renault R18. One day, I heard him talking with his friends, possibly loud enough so that I could hear. “My sister is wedding soon you know and I want to drive her to the church in my new car”.

Now on the day. My brother was nowhere to be found. On enquiring, he had driven to town to sort out transportation. A local bus that had been hired to ferry people from my church to the wedding venue had not arrived at agreed time as planned.

The bridal party were waiting patiently in their cars but the bride’s car was nowhere to be seen. With no mobile phones, no one knew exactly where my brother was.

After some time Tete came in and said “The car is here”. We quickly made our way outside with the help of my best girl. Cloths were laid on the ground to ensure that I did not step on the ground. This is how a bride is treated in Zim. VIP treatment indeed.

I couldn’t see the Renault R18.

“In here Mainini” Tete directed. There was a cream Mercedes Benz! On the driver’s seat was Tete’s younger brother. There was not even time to decorate the car, the new bride’s car. Then we set off, our car leading the procession. The church was around 3 miles from our house.

Apparently when my brother was not showing up, Tete called her brother who had a car dealership and asked if he had a nice car that could be used to transport the bride to church. In a few minutes he was outside the house in the Merc.

As we drove into the church car park, I was surprised by the number of people who were already there. Our car made its way onto the front entrance of the church. I could see ushers quickly directing people to go in.

The big day was here. Today is my wedding day.

Bridegroom

After some time, there was a flurry of activity as some cars drove in and car horns blaring, marking the arrival of the bridal party. Then I saw a Mercedes Benz slowly drive up to the front entrance of the church. Yes, there she was, Wim sat in the Merc. Merc? How did this happen?

The next bit came from us watching the wedding video as Wim and I were not inside the church.

The procession started. Our favourite male singing group split themselves into two groups – one starting from the vestry in the front of the church and the other from the main entrance.

They were singing with smiles as they marched to meet each other in the middle isle of the church. Then when they were nicely paired up, they faced each other. They finished off the song as they shook each other hand across the isle with the words “brother let me shake your hand”.

The atmosphere had been set for a truly amazing day.

It was our day and the programme ensured that we celebrated every moment. The bridal party including the page boy, flower girls and boys made their entry – each to a melodious tune from the singing group.

Then it was time for the mini bride and mini groom, as a forerunner to the main event; our entrance.

It was now my turn. The bridegroom.

“Ndakatsvaga kwese; ndikashaya chose; dakara ndawana iwe; werudo rwangu; nyeredzi yangu, chido chemoyo wangu” (I searched everywhere; I didn’t find anyone; until I met you; my beloved; my star; my sweetheart), the group started singing. This was my cue to enter. I marched in – with a delicate step.

This was the first time I saw how many people where inside the church; – it was fully packed. Those who could not get seats were standing along the walls.

As I marched along, I looked to the right and left and smiled. As I approached the pulpit, on my left were the Mpofus – my Mum and Dad; my siblings and their families; any aunties and uncles; my cousins; my mentors.

On my right were the Nyabanis. I acknowldged them with a smile and a nod as I marched past them.

Then there was Wim’s church choir dressed in purple gowns.

In the front row was the bridal party. Everyone was dressed so colourfully.

As I turned around to face the entrance, the whole audience burst into a loud “Amen” and an ululation sneaked in there.

Wow!

An announcement was made – “When you see bride step inside the church, please stand up briefly and then take your seats”

Bride

“God of our fathers, Whose almighty hand leads forth in beauty all the starry band…” That was my song. It was time to go in. The moment I had always admired at other weddings was now mine.

I was flanked by my Mum on one side and Dad on the other. As we entered the church, everyone was on their feet looking towards the entrance. I am the bride. I felt a bit nervous as I had just become the centre of attention of everyone in the church. I was extremely happy and delighted.

I briefly looked up and there was Jabu, smartly dressed and smiling.

I started marching towards Jabu to the beat of the melodious song, accompanied by my parents. Proud parents they were.

Bridegroom

There she was, majestically gliding towards me to the beat of the song. I had never seen such a beautiful sight. Marvellous! Wonderful! What a beutiful wedding dress – pure white. A beautiful veil covered her face.

How could I remain standing there? It was time for my approach to meet my bride; my best friend. I started marching towards Wim to the beat of the song as well, to meet her half way on the centre isle. I was beaming!

As we met, Wim’s Mum and Dad fell behind and left, to sit in their designated seats. Then I turned around as the group changed the lyrics of the song to words customised for our wedding. “We now present, these two before Thee Lord, now as they come before Thee Our Lord…. Bless them O Lord, as you did the first two” (i.e. Adam & Eve)

I could not take my eyes off my beautiful bride. I was smiling, and smiling and smiling! As we approached the pulpit. This was the day. Our day.

Next blog is the Wedding Day Part 2 – The Wedding Ceremony. It was here that we learnt the first 3 lessons of our married life – i.e. about 15 minutes after being declared husband and wife. Please subscribe so that you do not miss it.