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Introduction

The Meeting

Welcome back. It’s nice to see you.

If this is your first time reading this blog, we suggest that you get the background from our first blog post and meet our family on the About Us page.

Please don’t miss out on the interactive activity at the bottom of this post…

There are a least two sides to every story

Jabu’s side

On a visit to my hometown, an announcement was made at church of a forthcoming Youth Bible Conference.

As a skint uni student I could not afford it, but I still wanted to go. I mentioned my predicament to a certain kind lady from church who generously sponsored me.

Easter 1989, the time of the Bible Conference, was fast approaching – my excitement was increasing. The conference was to be held at Nyazura, more than 120 miles east of Harare and I didn’t know anyone else who was going to attend.

I arrived at the meeting place for transportation on time – no sign of any activity. Turned out the departure time announced had been set to ensure that the habitual latecomers would not miss the coach. I waited patiently. As the sun set and the darkness covered the place, people started trickling in.

But due to the low numbers of attendees, the previously arranged transport proved financially unviable. Our alternative? We had to use public transport first thing in the morning.

As young people we decided to play some games for most of the night. It was great fun!

The next morning before dawn we all quickly boarded the public bus. I recognised two girls from the games the previous night. Since I didn’t know anyone, I asked if the empty seat next to them was reserved and with some slight hesitation they said it was free, so I took it.

I introduced myself to the girl sitting next to me, her name was Wimbayi. She also introduced her friend.

Whilst sitting next to them, we joked and laughed about a cartoon character in the newspaper I was reading with a similar name to Wimbayi (Vimbai).

After getting off the bus, we had to walk a couple of miles to the Bible Conference venue – at this time Jabu was no longer alone – I had company!

After freshening up on arrival, I met the girls for breakfast.

We were then put into groups. Wim and I ended up in different groups. During meal times, we would look out for each other and discuss what we had learnt from our groups.

I noticed that during meals she would serve everyone else before she settles down to eat. She would interact with other young people and the adult presenters. She was just full of energy.

Kind, caring, sociable, cheerful – I noted.

I naturally gravitated towards her – for me she was one of the only two people I now knew at this conference.

We enjoyed sharing experiences. I figured out that Wim was working and lived in a flat in the “Avenues”. “Avenues”! I thought – this lady must be posh. (Avenues referred to the residential areas near the Harare City Centre. I thought, at the time, this was where the young and rich professionals live)

Our friendship was budding – I had not felt so much at ease with a “stranger” before. Wim was so warm – that smile! “But Jabu, don’t get too excited – Wim stays in the “Avenues” and attends this popular church,” I reminded myself.

Soon the Bible Conference was over. I had learnt a lot and met quite a number of people and a special person, Wim.

We had to use the overnight train back home. When we got to the train station, the train was full, with standing room only. After checking that there was nothing that could break in her luggage, she placed the luggage bag in the corridor, and invited me to share the seat. Who would refuse?

So, we sat back to back – still talking.

Some 15 miles before we reached our destination, the train developed a fault and literally stopped dead in its tracks! We disembarked to get some fresh air.

This is when it struck me how beautiful Wim was. She had on, this lovely peach dress which was well complimented by her beautiful hair. And that smile raised everything to another level! I was struck.

Eventually we arrived in Harare and on parting I asked, if it was possible for us to meet up again. She showed me where she worked as we walked past and told me what time she takes lunch and finishes work.

Wim’s side

I had been working for more than two years now. I had resolved that I would not mess around and get into relationship before I finished my O levels – whoever was approaching me at that time was to be ignored – and I stuck to that.

Young men were starting to show interest, but I would easily notice lack of seriousness.

Then a certain young man, entered the fray. For a number of weeks, he was regularly visiting my workplace during the lunch break for a chat. It started as small talk and continued as small talk every time.

I was confused.

Having heard of the Youth Bible Conference, my friend and I registered to attend.

In the run up to the Youth Bible Conference, I decided to pray and fast so that God could clearly show me direction of which way I should go.

I felt that I was now ready to get into a relationship.

I prayed and fasted for the whole week – only having evening meals.

On Thursday evening, my friend and I made our way to the meeting place. By the time we got there, it was dark.

Later, that young man who had started showing interest also appeared.

“Could God be answering my prayer even before we get to the conference?” I wondered.

At the meeting place, there was a small group of young people who were playing games. We joined them and enjoyed ourselves. Shortly we heard that the bus was no longer taking us to the conference and we would need to use public transport early the following morning.

Before sunrise, we were at bus station. My friend and I managed to get in and grabbed our seats on a 3 person seat. After, a few minutes, this guy from the night before (Jabu) came and asked if he could sit with us.

I hesitated a bit, as I didn’t recognise him at first.

I looked around to see if that young man, who had been showing interest, had taken a seat elsewhere but could not see him and I reluctantly offered the seat to Jabu.

After some time, I noticed Jabu peeping over my arm to a cartoon in the newspaper I was reading which was about Chikwama (a popular comic strip in Zimbabwe) and the caption was saying “All my girlfriends have left me except for Vimbai” – we laughed and chatted as the journey continued.

We reached our destination and we had to walk some distance to the venue. Since I was struggling to walk in my heels, Jabu offered to help with my heavy luggage. (What a sweetheart!)

While at the conference, another young man started showing some unwelcomed attention. He was bothering me almost to the point of rudeness and wanted to separate me from my friend so that he could talk to me in private.

I didn’t like it.

So I decided to stick to my friend and Jabu for “protection”. The more the attention I received from this other young man, the closer our group of three stuck.

The conference was very spiritual and a blessing to me.

Where was the first young man? I discovered that he had gone back to Harare to attend to other business.

Was this how God would answer my prayer? I looked at Jabu and asked myself ‘could this be the guy? Nah!’

At the end of the conference, we were advised that due to the transport problems we were to get onto the overnight train to Harare. Late that evening we made our way to the train station.

The train had standing room only and Jabu and I ended up sitting on my luggage.

Then the train broke down near Mabvuku. What an adventure this was – so many twists.

Eventually we got to the Harare train station and our flat was within walking distance. My friend had to catch an emergency taxi (ET) to her place. We accompanied her to where she would get her ET and Jabu offered to walk me a little of the way home.

Your side

Now that you have read our side of the story, it’s over to you. We believe that for all of us to benefit from this journey we all need to participate.

For your side of the story we suggest any or all of the following for this week:-

  • If you are in a relationship, find time and a comfortable place, to rerun how you two met – you will be surprised how this can boost your love.
  • Gently persuade your parents to share with you how they met – expect some juicy stuff
  • Call your parent(s), sibling or friend and share with them what you appreciate about them – it will definitely bring a smile on their faces
  • Anything else you can think of – but please do something.

Bye for now – next week the blog is on “Ndine musikana wangu”(I got myself a girl).

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Introduction

More Love@Home

Mawuya!* A very warm welcome to you. Thank you for dropping by and taking time to read this blog.

At long last, after so many attempts, false starts and fighting nerves, we have come to write our first post of the MoreLove@Home with Jabu & Wim blog.

What has spurred us on this time is our forthcoming 30th wedding anniversary and so we decided we would start this blog by sharing some 30 things we have learnt on our 30 years-plus love journey!

We are excited and looking forward to this.

Wim and I (Jabu) thought that we would love to document these valuable lessons for our children, nieces/nephews, future grandchildren (no pressure!) and anyone else who would benefit from them.

We want to make this blog as interactive, interesting and relevant as possible.

To help us achieve this, we would like you to share with us lessons that you have learnt and are still learning from your own relationships. We will provide further instructions on this later.

On looking back, starting from our wedding day on the 2nd of December 1990, (followed by a humble, but romantic honeymoon at the magnificent Victoria Falls) to date, we have gone through a lot of highs and lows – e.g. births, loss of a child, emigrating, surviving a house fire, graduations, journey to being debt free, holidays, empty nest and recently surviving Covid-19.

As Christians, our faith has been a bedrock of our relationship.

Through it all we have been very happily married.

Before we dive into the “30 things/lessons”, it will be nice to give a bit more background of ourselves.

My name is Jabulani Lovemore Mpofu (Jabu) – most people in the UK are surprised and giggle at my middle name but it is very common where we come from!

I am married to Wimbayi (Wim), we have been blessed with two live children and lost one during childbirth.

We moved to the UK from Zimbabwe 16 years ago and so we will cover topics from both pespectives.

You will get to know more about us and our story as you read through this blog. We will start with a summary of our upbringings in our own words.

Jabu

I was born in Chinhoyi, Zimbabwe as the fourth child and only son of Mum and Dad. From this union, I have four sisters. I have an additional six half-siblings from my parents’ previous marriages.

Our family (and childhood) was shaken to the core when my mum suddenly died when I was just 8.

I vividly remember coming home from playing with friends to find her collapsed and unconscious – she died in hospitall a couple of days later.

Following that, everything changed and we had to grow up quickly. Our childhood ended.

Fast forward, finishing primary, secondary and high school, taking a gap year, I started electrical engineering studies at university in Harare.

During my third year at Uni, I met Wim.

Wim

Born in rural Zimbabwe, I am the fifth born in a family of 10 – 5 boys, 5 girls.

Earlier on in my childhood, I was sent to stay with my aged maternal grandparents in another part of Zimbabwe and did not get to meet most of my siblings until I was 12.

For my secondary education, I moved to Harare to live with my brother and his wife. After finishing secondary school, I got a clerical job, still in Harare.

It was during this time that I met Jabu.

Interestingly, we didn’t meet in Harare. Next blog is on The Meeting. Please subscribe below

Please visit About Us page to meet our family and see a flavour of the topic categories to be covered!

* Mawuya is a Shona (Zimbabwean language) greeting of happily welcoming someone