Special Tribute to our “Queen of Love”

Our hearts ache – yet again. We were not going post anything today due to our bereavement, but we have just decided to give you a glimpse of the life of this amazing lady we lost.

Today we celebrate the life of our “Queen of Love”, my Auntie (Mainini) Denia who sadly passed away on Sunday and was laid to rest today back home in Zimbabwe. (Mainini literally means little mother or mother’s younger sister).

From the tributes we saw as we followed the funeral service proceedings on Facebook live this morning, it appears that this lady touched so many lives.

When mum died when I was 8, Mainini Denia and her younger sister, between them shared the mothering responsibilities of myself and my 4 sisters. At this time, she was in her late-thirties, had five of her own children and had another one on the way. As we grew older, we then appreciated how the loss of her elder sister, my mum, may have been devasting to her as well.

She managed to find a place for all of us in her heart – she had such a BIG heart.

There are a lot of things we could write about Mainini but decided to settle on a few that exhibits her love.

In January 1975, Mainini offered to take my elder sister to live with her in Torwood, KweKwe and go to secondary school there as there was no secondary school for black children in Chinhoyi at the time. Then the following month of the same year, my mum suddenly passed away – collapse and died two days later. Mainini showed so much great love to us, embracing and comforting us as we mourned our loss – she also needed comforting, but she ensured that we were comforted first.

This lady believed in women empowerment, even before we heard about it from the wider world. She believed in educating both boys and girls. She believed that women can and should be independent and self-sufficient. She believed that women should use their heads and hands.

Though Babamudiki (her husband) was a school teacher, Mainini had entrepreneurial skills that she put to very good use. From her small kitchen, she ran a successful sewing business. Selling clothes (mainly dresses) to residents of the Steel Works in Torwood. This small business later grew to a couple of tuckshops/takeaways (in cavarans) and a store.

This reminds me of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:10-31 (Please take a moment to read this passage in the Bible).

So many words describe her – driven, determined, resilient, caring, manager, innovative/creative etc. On another visit later to her place, she mentioned to Wim and I that she had determined that from her sewing business, she would buy a brand new car. (Buying new cars were unheard of at the time). And sure enough, she did purchase it and it is the car that Wim and I rode after our wedding ceremony as we went to the park for photos.

During our childhood, Mainini would send for us now and again to come to Torwood to visit during the school holidays. Whilst there we were showered with so much love. A few days before our return to Chinhoyi, she would take us to a Bata shoe shop, kumaQ (a surburb in Torwood) and buy us a new pair of school shoes. This was special and the shoes would last for a couple of years. She would always encourage us on the importance of education.

Later on when I phoned her to inform her that I had found a girlfriend and were planning an engagement party, she said she will be attending the party and she did come. I remember her speech where she was encouraging Wim and I that the engagement is not the real deal, not the destination; we have to practice self-control until we get to the wedding day.

Wim’s view

I met Jabu’s Mainini for the first time at our engagement party. She was dressed so elegantly and was well spoken as she addressed the gathering. Jabu had told me a lot about her and how she had been a pillar of support for him and his siblings.

The next time I saw her was at our wedding day when she gave that great speech which she finished by saying “Ndinokugamuchira Vimbai. Ndinokuda chaizvo Vimbai.” (I welcome you Vimbai (i.e. to the Mpofus). I love you very much Vimbai). I was hooked by such love.

Three years ago, when my Dad died, we flew back to Zimbabwe. By the time we arrived in Marondera, Mainini was already there to comfort me and the family. On the day of the funeral, Mainini came and sat next to me and held me close. She supported me as we went for the body viewing and I could feel her strong arm of love around me. I felt so warmly loved and supported.

Every time we visited Zimbabwe on holiday, we made it a point that we would at least visit Mainini and her younger sister. The last time we visited Mainini, we had sent word through a third party that we will be visiting. Somehow the message did not get through to her. Our party showed up unannounced – six of us (our niece and nephew had come along).

“Jabu and Vimbai, where are you coming from?” she happily exclaimed with such a wide smile and gave us some hearty hugs. She was so happy to see us and her grandchildren and quickly enquired of what they were up to. She was unfazed by entertaining such a large party unexpectedly showing up.

“Adhala Jaa, (as she affectionately called Jabu) we need to look for something to eat. What do you want to eat?”

“Sadza” was the resounding response from our party.

“Electricity is there now but it will likely go out any time – so let’s start cooking now” she advised

As expected before getting the ingredients together, the electricity went off before we had started cooking. This lady was so organized – she had plan B. An open fire was going outside in no time. We cooked sadza as we chatted and caught up with things. You could feel love oozing in her words of advice and encouragement. Love begats love. She was happy to see us.

Final word from Jabu

In the twilight days of her life, Mainini developed this amazing and close relationship with my younger sister. They became besties and each’s confidant.

For those who knew her, the greatest tribute you can give to Mainini is to emulate her love. I know you also have your own stories to share, on how she touched your lives. (Disclaimer – I have not even shared what we have written with my sisters)

For those who had never met her, you may still extend love to those dear and close to you. Thank you for reading about our Mainini – a bulwark in our lives; always behind the scenes encouraging and praying for us.

I feel that Mainini can echo the words of Paul in 2 Timothy 4:7-8

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful.  And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing.

2 Timothy 4:7-8 NLT

One comment that stood out Facebook live today was – It was a life well lived. She was 85.

There is a prize for you as well. May the life of our “Queen of Love” inspire you to prepare for that prize. This IS what love looks like.

We solicit your prayers as we go through yet another loss. Thank you.